Ya’ll… I’ll be honest with you right now. Let’s be real. I need to vent. So, some of you may already know that I recently had surgery to repair a fistula. If you didn’t, you know now. Two weeks after surgery, I was in the clear… meaning I was considered healed up and my surgeon “set me free.”
Unfortunately, that was short-lived. About 3 weeks after he gave me the green light poo started coming from places it should not be again. Yes, ladies, DOWN THERE. Let me say that I love my surgeon. He’s amazing and he’s also the same surgeon who constructed my j-pouch. I trust him with my life! Believe me when I tell you that he gave me my life back.
Son of a &*%$#
I read my previous surgery notes from the fistula repair. And I am definitely encouraged to learn that I have a healthy j-pouch. My surgeon stated it THREE TIMES in those notes. I can obviously take comfort in that fact. This fistula has absolutely nothing to do with my j-pouch. It has to do with a 29 hour childbirth. Which, by the way, I would do it the same way all over again despite this little setback.
Being in control of my healthcare made the whole pregnancy/childbirth experience much more enjoyable and less stressful… which is EXTREMELY important when you’ve dealt with a lot of health issues. I would encourage ALL women to be diligent. Do your research and take charge of your pregnancy/childbirth experience.
I am still frustrated, though. Frustrated because my body is giving me grief again. Frustrated because I need more medical attention. I’m frustrated because this next surgery may be more invasive. It may even mean another temporary ostomy. An invasive surgery may prevent me from holding my sweet baby girl… which, again, is frustrating.
Difficult to Say
This topic is not something that is easy to talk about. And I’d be lying to you if I told you that I was eager to be open with you about it. The last thing I wanted to do was tell everyone that I have poo coming out of places that you don’t discuss in polite company. However, I know this is a topic that plagues so many people who live with Crohn’s and UC. Therefore, I knew that it was something that I would eventually have to open up to you about.
Since opening up, I have received more support than I had expected. I have also had many, many women thank me for opening up on this very important topic. Many of them are experiencing or have experienced difficult fistulas. Several men have also opened up to me about their fistula experiences.
Oh, IBD Ninjas, I Can’t Do Without You
I mentioned in a blog post several weeks ago that I felt like throwing in the towel… as I have on several occasions. I have felt like a lousy Emotional Support Ninja. I’ve been silent for months and months dealing with several health issues and a growing baby.
With every battle I face, it becomes clearer that blogging is what I’m meant to do. I can’t give it up. There is still so much left to be done and so many battles left to face. Not only do I have battles of my own to contend with, but I also feel duty-bound to help others in their fights. There’s not a cure for Crohn’s or UC. Not yet anyway. So until that time, I’m destined and determined to keep fighting.
