Stress, Worry & Fear
In light of everything that’s going on lately and the fact that the holidays are coming up, I wanted to address three things that Inflammatory Bowel Disease patients deal with. Stress, worry and fear. Alone, any of these can be detrimental to your health, but combined, they wreak havoc on not only the physical aspects of your disease, but also the mental, spiritual, and relational aspects of life, too.
First, let’s talk about stress.
Stress is something that every person deals with. Relationships cause stress. Jobs cause stress. Driving your car causes stress. Pretty much just being alive causes stress. This is not to say that you’d be better off dead, mind you! There is ALWAYS something to live for (if you’re contemplating suicide, please seek help immediately). Stress can sometimes makes you forget that, however. Add a chronic illness on top of the stresses of life, and your stress levels are nearly impossible to control and maintain. Stress affects more than you might think, too! It isn’t just a mental thing. According to Mayo Clinic, stress can also affect your job performance, sleep cycles, pain and even digestion (to name a few)!
Don’t worry! Be happy!
I can’t tell you how many people I wanted to slap in the face when I was in the throes of my disease and they told me not to worry. Yeah, that’s easy for you to say when your bowels aren’t rebelling against you! It’s difficult not to worry when you’re in a constant battle for your life or your quality of life. You’re constantly being reminded all day, every day when you’re in immense amounts of pain, running back and forth to the bathroom either pooping or puking your guts out. You worry how you’re going to get through just one more day. You worry how you’re going to pay for your medications. You worry if you’re going to make it to the bathroom in time. You worry about if your spouse or significant other is going to leave you. I know! I’ve been there. Worry is not an easy beast to tame.
The only thing we have to fear…
And then there’s fear. Many of us fear the unknown. We don’t know what’s lurking just around the corner. We fear getting to a place of wellness because we know that at any moment, the other shoe could fall, squashing us flat (again). We fear never getting to a place of remission. We fear there will never be a cure for IBD. We fear calling the doctor with any kind of problem because we know that he or she has the power to put us in the hospital (again). We fear being unable to pull our weight in life. We fear rejection or being isolated. Many patients experience PTSD from dealing with years of hardships that are brought upon us because of our disease.
So what!?
Ok, great, Ninja… we all know that Stress, Worry and Fear are bad… but so what? Can we really do anything about them? Aren’t they a natural response to bad times? Yes. They are. But there are ways to combat them and give yourself peace of mind.
Since it’s first on our list, let’s deal with stress:
When you start feeling stressed out about a situation, look inward and ask yourself, “what is it about this situation that is stressing me out?” Then answer the question. If you can pinpoint what is causing you stress, you can actively seek solutions. Perhaps you’re stressed about an upcoming doctor appointment. Make a list of questions to ask and concerns to voice. Make sure you understand why exactly you are going to the doctor. If you’re stressed about the cost of your medications, try contacting the drug company to get on a patient assistance program (there are a ton of them out there!). Do what you can to find a solution. And whenever possible, try to nip the stress in the bud. You may even need to speak to your doctor about getting on anti-anxiety medication for a little while (and that’s ok, too!). Admit when you need help, breathe, and remember that you’ve survived many, many stresses in the past and you most assuredly will be surviving this.
Next, let’s deal with worry!
We’ve all probably heard the quote stating that 99% of the things we worry about never happen. Is that a statistical fact you can make book on? I don’t know, to be honest, but I do know that we humans worry a lot. And most of the time we worry unnecessarily. As you know, worry is not beneficial for you. The age-old question that was posed many, many years ago is, “Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” The answer is, no. You cannot. As with stress, I would also encourage all of you to turn your worry into action. Find distractions!
Aaand now, let’s talk about fear.
When living with a chronic illness it often feels as though we are in a state of constant fear… I say, use your fear to make you stronger. One of my absolute favorite quotes that has gotten me through so many tough times is by the absolutely amazing Eleanor Roosevelt. She said, “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
So my friends, whatever horrors, whatever terrors, whatever trials you may be facing, remember that through this you can find strength. Sometimes you have to dig deep! But it is possible. If you need to cry for a time, that’s ok and even healthy. But after that, get up, brush yourself off and refuse to let your disease or the world get you down. “You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” (A. A. Milne said that.) Don’t let anyone trample on you. Don’t let anyone or anything rob you of your joy. And, as always, remember you have an army of ninjas behind you.
